Marrying George Clooney

Book excerpt: While wide-awake in the middle of the night (welcome to menopause!), Amy Ferris chronicles every one of her hysterical, heartbreaking, ridiculous, and unflinchingly honest thoughts. Along with fantasizing about marrying George Clooney, Ferris faces a plethora of other insomnia-induced thoughts and activities. From Googling old boyfriends to researching obscure and fatal diseases on the web, she worries endlessly about her husband, relies heavily on Ambien, and tries to arrange care via the Internet for her mother (who has both severe dementia and a massive crush on Jesus Christ) - all while refraining from lighting up just one more cigarette.