The Need to be Liked

Book excerpt: Almost everyone has a fundamental need to be liked by other people. It is a healthy and normal part of life. However, the need to be liked can also be associated with emotional, behavioural and even personality problems. The Need to be Liked is a book that explores the dark side of this human need. The author (Dr. Roger Covin) is a clinical psychologist who weaves together psychological research with his own clinical experiences in order to present a unique and original way of thinking about the need to be liked. Drawing on research and theory from various fields of psychology, Dr. Covin explains how people's experience with painful rejection shapes their way of thinking about themselves and others. Readers will learn how problems with the need to be liked can lead to depression, anxiety and other mental health concerns. Dr. Covin describes how the need to be liked expresses itself in numerous ways, ranging from subtle behaviours to aspects of one's overall personality. For example, the need to be liked can affect... ...being overly career-driven ...alcohol and drug use ...promiscuity ...one's excessive focus on appearance ...the decision to remain in an abusive relationship ...rumination about past relationships ...being overly self-critical or perfectionistic ...continually entering into relationships where you find the wrong partner ...sabotaging relationships Finally, Dr. Covin provides useful strategies and suggestions for how to manage problems with needing to be liked and dealing with rejection. The Need to be Liked is a fascinating and timely examination of a topic that affects the vast majority of people. Grounded in current research and theory, and articulated through Dr. Covin's experiences as a therapist, this book is a must read for those who have ever wondered - why do I need to be liked?