The Dumb Book

Book excerpt: The old adage truth is stranger than fiction can also be construed as truth is funnier than fiction and we see no shortage of real people doing and saying dumb things and making us laugh in the process. The Editors of Reader’s Digest present a hilarious collection of dumb people doing dumb things. Every day in America we are bombarded by stupidity; sometimes we just shake our heads, but most of the time we get a good laugh out of the really dumb things people do and say. In our first collection of dumb stories we poke a little fun at the unbelievably dumb things that happen in our lives and have a good chuckle along the way. “You’re a dumb criminal if…You’re not picky about your office locations. Christopher Exley of Everett, Washington, was arrested for conducting a drug deal over the phone—in the bathroom of the Everett Police Department.” “During my brother-in-law’s first performance review, his boss said, “I’m not quite sure what it is you do here. But whatever it is, could you do it faster?” --Jeanie Waara, Philip, SD “In an attempt to balance work and motherhood, I delegated the grocery shopping to my young babysitter. But the job proved a tad daunting. One day while I was at work, she texted me from the supermarket. “Can’t find Brillo pads,” she wrote. “All they have are Tampax and Kotex.” --Kimberly Clark, Alpharetta, GA “I overheard an elderly gentleman tell his friend that he couldn’t meet him the next day because he had to go to the hospital for an autopsy. His friend was sympathetic: “I had one of those last year. Luckily it wasn’t serious.” --Tracy Moralee, Hitchin, Great Britain