Sex When You Don't Feel Like It

Book excerpt: A practical guide to understand both low and high libido, drawing on science, straight talk and useful exercises to stop blame and rekindle pleasure. From the Vatican to Vegas, From Disney to PornHub, we’ve been tricked into believing love and sex are like a hand in a glove, though few of us experience them that way. In Sex When You Don’t Feel Like It: The Truth About Mismatched Libido and Rediscovering Desire,Cyndi Darnell helps demystify our relationship to desire by making it authentic, relatable, and most importantly, attainable. Darnell guides readers step-by-step through a useful framework to discover their authentic longings while recognizing it can feel uncomfortable when they’re unaccustomed to deep, soul-nourishing conversations about sex. From reading this book, you will learn what desire needs to thrive and how to understand your unique erotic template. At its core, Sex When You Don’t Feel Like It is honest. It understands that exploring sex is complicated in a culture that insists sex is both natural and dangerous. It doesn’t promise eternal happiness with tips and tricks in three-easy-steps. It does, however, get to the heart of how everything we’ve been led to believe about erotic desire is untrue, and demonstrates how these beliefs shape our struggles with cultivating pleasure and understanding the nature of passion. Darnell takes desire from a passive, resigned sense of failure to an inspired quest by offering countless prompts, practices, suggestions and reflections to help the reader understand why they’re feeling what they’re feeling, why they’re feeling stuck, what they really want, and how to get there. This book offers abundant alternatives to sexual struggles and tackles the self-doubt, awkwardness, and embarrassment of exploring erotic desire to support the reader in creating a dynamic erotic identity that is uniquely theirs.