Tongue-Tied with Stomach Knots

Book excerpt: In a world wherein so much appears to be bizarre, insane, and beyond rational explanation, Secret Agent Reginald Dipwipple knows the insider truth: the world is incredibly incompetent. This is the world he operates in, fighting the good fight against terrorists struggling to make a living through mass intimidation. It is a world wherein words are weapons when they contain too many syllables. A world wherein computers have personality, geeks are cosmopolitan, and blondes are smart enough to deceive. A world of acronyms utterly indecipherable to the uninitiated: HUMINT, MASINT, GUTTER, USSR. A world where crises cause comedy. And Dipwipple delivers. Join him at a spy school in rural Virginia where poachers encounter cute cuddly animals who shoot back. Dare to accompany him to Washington, D.C.'s fashionable neighborhood of Georgetown, to the high fashions of New York City, to the funky fashions of Greenwich Village, to the Italian fashions of Rome, to the frumpy fashions of American tourists. It is a journey intertwined with Biblical espionage, ancient Roman postal workers, prostitutes and politicians, Nazis and Communists, philosophers and phonies, comedy writers and other political appointees. From spies full of hot air (ballooning) to spies of the underworld, tunneling into East Berlin. From the sexy spies of the Civil War to the sexy spy planes of the Cold War, Dipwipple delivers. From the United Nations to divided states, from the science of humor to the art of the bad joke, Dipwipple delivers. From the great questions of theology to the questionable greatness of bureaucracy, Dipwipple delivers. Dipwipple not only delivers, he takes it back. This is his story.