Voice Lessons for Parents

Book excerpt: New York Times bestselling author and host of the podcast Nurture vs Nurture Dr. Wendy Mogel “teaches parents the dialect needed to converse with their daughters and sons at every stage of life” (Chicago Tribune). Dr. Wendy Mogel, “one of the most astute psychologists on the planet (Angela Duckworth, New York Times bestselling author of Grit) observed a pattern in her practice: when parents speak to their children their pitch tends to rise, and they come across as pleading, indignant, wounded, outraged. Their tone and body language signal, I can’t handle it when you act like a child. In response, Dr. Mogel developed a remarkably effective series of “voice lessons,” for parents who were struggling to communicate. The results were immediate: a shift in vocal style led to calmer kids, who listened more attentively and responded with warmth, respect, and sincerity. In Voice Lessons for Parents, Mogel elaborates on her novel clinical approach, revealing how each age and stage of a child’s life brings new opportunities to connect . Drawing from a range of sources including neuroscience, fairy tales, and anthropology, Mogel offers specific guidance for talking to children across the expanse of childhood and adolescence. She also explains the best ways to talk about your child to partners, exes, and grandparents, as well as to teachers, coaches, and caretakers. And she addresses the distraction of digital devices—how they impact our interactions with our families, and what we can do about it.