The Mizzou Fan's Survival Guide to the SEC

Book excerpt: As a Mizzou fan, you have been to the same Big 12 Conference locales, from Lubbock to Lincoln, for years. You have known the long-standing traditions, the can't-miss restaurants, the best bars. It's a comfortable feeling, similar to your dislike of Kansas. Then you wake up on November 7, 2011, to the announcement that the Tigers are switching leagues, jumping into the snake pit called the Southeastern Conference! And they are doing it starting the 2012 football season. Your mind shifts into overdrive, considering questions about the SEC, your new athletic universe, such as: Is Fayetteville, AR at the end of the earth? No, but you can see the end from there. Why do I need earplugs when I visit Starkville, MS? Because the SEC deemed it legal for Mississippi State fans to ring their beloved cowbells whenever the ball is not in play. Who's the biggest figure in SEC football history, Alabama coach Bear Bryant or Florida quarterback Tim Tebow? It's a draw. Both have their own statues outside their respective stadiums. Does the Tennessee band know how to play any song but "Rocky Top?" No, they play it repeatedly until you throw yourself off the top of Neyland Stadium. The Mizzou Fan's Survival Guide to the SEC is your shortcut to instantly and easily navigating the most competitive and hardest-partying college conference in the nation. Be prepared for the brave new world of the SEC.