The White Knight Syndrome: Rescuing Yourself from Your Need to Rescue Others

Book excerpt: Rescuing others, losing yourself. Are you a white knight? Are you attracted to needy, damaged, or helpless people? Do you feel like your love can heal your partner? Are you overly involved in your partner's problems? Are you hungry for constant reassurance in relationships? Do you make excuses for your partner? Do you try to "save" people from themselves? In legends and fairytales, the white knight rescues the damsel in distress, falls in love, and saves the day. Real-life white knights are men and women who enter into romantic relationships with damaged and vulnerable partners, hoping that love will transform their partner's behavior or life-a relationship pattern that seldom leads to a storybook ending. If this dynamic sounds familiar to you, you may be a white knight; hoping to receive admiration, validation, or love from your partners, but managing only to cheat yourself out of emotionally healthy relationships. It's time to come to your own rescue, and this book can help. With well-written analysis, engaging insight, and salient case studies, The White Knight Syndrome is a much-needed and well-executed guide to understanding and resolving the white knight syndrome in yourself.