Alive AF

Book excerpt: Married mother of two discovers the part alcohol has played in her lifelong struggle with anxiety.Raised in rural Kentucky in the 1980s, Perkins takes her readers on a nostalgic journey as she evolves from a little girl who idealized the beautiful, happy people in beer commercials to a college kid who loses her full-ride scholarship for drinking in the dorms. She grew up thinking the world was divided into drinkers and drunks. Drinkers used alcohol to celebrate-freedom, good weather, youth. Drunks were sweaty, messy losers day-drinking in sticky bars.She spent her young adult life searching-in college parties, in dark bars wearing Forever 21 outfits, in antidepressants that put her in a fog, in dead-end relationships, in bags of overpriced kale from Whole Foods, in local breweries serving hand-crafted beer made from organic hops. She was searching for something to stop the racing thoughts, the irrational moments of panic, the feeling disaster is about to strike. She didn't miss work, her house was clean, her kids were happy. Clearly, she was not an alcoholic. Have you ever taken one of those online quizzes to see if you're an alcoholic? You know, the ones that ask questions like: Do you often miss work or family obligations due to drinking? Never. Does your drinking put you in dangerous situations? Nope. Does your drinking cause persistent health problems? Absolutely not...unless you count debilitating anxiety.Perkins tried tweaking her diet, exercise, sleep and many other health practices while attempting to get her anxiety under control. While still drinking daily. Despite her efforts at avoidance, she finally had to face the truth that alcohol consumption was getting into the way of her living. But how do you get help for drinking if you're not an alcoholic? Hours of online research finally led her to a blog that changed the way she would think about alcohol forever. She finally connected the dots. Alcohol was making everything worse-not better. Read how Samantha Perkins became Alive AF (Alcohol Free) and found the tools to rebuild a life full of love, support and genuine human connection.