An Endless Lie

Book excerpt: This is my story. I was brought up in Thailand in the old-fashioned way. My father was strict, my sisters and I were not allowed out after 18:00. We were not allowed to have a boyfriend until we finished university. My father was abusive to my mother, and on a lesser scale, to my sisters and me.Because of this, not long after finishing University, I moved to Bangkok for work and stayed with my eldest sister. While working in a Bangkok hotel, I met a wealthy Scottish businessman. He persuaded me to visit him in Scotland. We married, I had a wonderful, successful husband, a lovely home, it seemed I had all I could wish for. But, after our first child, he became secretive, controlling me and the children. He subjected me to physical and sexual violence. I was trapped in an abusive marriage for twenty years.At first, I thought I had no choice other than to suffer it, because I had seen my father abuse my mother. She tolerated it because there is little recourse for abused women in Thailand. Our culture and religion mean that you marry for life, unless your husband wishes to divorce you, in which case, women often end up homeless. With help from my friends and support organisations, I came to understand that I did not have to put up with violence and abuse. However, leaving was not easy, my ex-husband refused to divorce me, threatened to kill me, alienated me from my children, and employed people to follow me and record my telephone conversations. I ended up suicidal and homeless.During the divorce process, he concealed his assets, used extortion against me, and constantly submitted false allegations to delay family court action.I did not let this break me, I let go and moved on. My story is one of hope, there is always help out there.