Better Living Through Bad Movies

Book excerpt: We've all heard that, "you learn more from failure than you do from success." Which means that all those hours spent watching crappy movies wasn't a waste of your precious and ever-dwindling life span; it was an education! And Better Living Through Bad Movies can show you how to extract the profound, life-affirming lessons from films like Battlefield Earth, Coyote Ugly, and Indecent Proposal. In over 50 hilarious reviews, the authors show how you can use the worst movies ever made to improve your sex life (it involves cardboard cutouts and clog dancing), Apocalypse-proof your home (using the following materials: John Travolta, Kevin Costner, Sylvester Stallone and more Kevin Costner), and win omnipotence and a Happy Meal by solving Satan's Junior Jumble. You will also discover how to forge a love that will last a lifetime (by dating the moribund), use films like Batman and Robin and Star Wars: The Phantom Menace as grief counseling, and conquer the world using common fruit bats and dry cleaning fluid. And most important of all, you'll learn Hollywood's Ultimate Secret: Why Beaches and Armageddon are actually the exact same movie.