FITNESS PIONEER - Volume TWO

Book excerpt: Dear Reader, Well, well, well. I finally did it! While wearing my favorite red jacket, and on a COLD, blustery wintry day right smack in the middle of “covid shovid” season as it were. It’s 2021 at the time of writing this. We had tons of people tell us to “forget” 2020 and this was being said even WHEN 2020 was going on. As I heard these people prattle on, I RAILED against the nonsense of a) succumbing to panic and b) thinking it will just go away (the panic, not the disease itself). Now, granted the plague that China knowingly and willingly spread everywhere spreads in a manner not seen before. And it’s more lethal than the flu for those that do get it. But it usually only afflicts those with underlying diseases or in otherwise poor health, and even amongst those people, it is only terminal for ONE out of 10. You have probably got more chances of being run over by a school bus or something the minute you step out than get this damned thing. And yet, the panic spreads. And continues to. My advice in 2020 was the same as it is NOW. Do NOT succumb to panic. As U.S. President Donald Trump famously once said. Precautions, NOT panic! And he was RIGHT. I’m a huge Trump fan, but while I don’t agree with him on everything (most notably the shennanigans at not acknowledging the election loss etc) – I DO AGREE with everything he says about China. I say it myself! And he’s spot on about this damned plague they sent over to the ROW. They predicted the panic it would cause. And it did! But now, my friend, what you gonna do? They done spread it and bailed. (Ever wonder why the Chinese mysteriously, despite having the worlds largest population (though India is catching up) had less than 1% of the worlds COVID cases? One reason was underreporting and the Communist government in China blocking access to true numbers etc, but the other reason is they planned for this, PREPARED for it in advanced, and then, and only THEN unleashed this on the rest of the world). There is more, but that, my friend, like it or not is the gist of it. I do NOT, I repeat NOT get into politics. I dislike it to an extreme, but 2020 and the plague they spread was the straw that broke this here “misfit cranky camel’s” BACK. Anyway … we’re past that now. Now, we as the rest of the world have to, whether we like it or not DEAL with it. And buying into the panic and going into lockdown shockdown that kills economies globally and far more people as a result is NOT the way to go about it. The way to do it is a) don’t buy into the panic. And b) most importantly, recognize that the importance of HEALTH And fitness can never be overemphasized. When I say health and fitness, I mean from the inside out. When I say TRUE strength, I mean not just the bloated muscles on the outside that the boobybuilders at the “Jim Shim” preen and pump day and night and proudly boast about how “tight my muscles are” while not being able to privately raise their arms to put on their shirts. Or, so pumped full of steroids they are that they have multiple heart attacks at an age they should be in their prime, let alone heart attacks and what not. Neither am I talking chicken legged or pelican legged monsters benching Manhattan but not able to yank their own cords – have a miserably strong grip – and have little or no leg strength and consequently strength and stamina. Real health and fitness DOES not come from “sitting in the gym and yanking away on machines and doing set after set and posing and preening after each set”. IT does NOT come from retarded “pile on to the bar as much as possible” and get injured weightlifting dum shum contests. REAL strength comes from REAL fitness. So does real HEALTH. You work the legs and BACK and GRIP hard. And you do NOT neglect the CORE. And, the rest will take care of itself. I could write 100 pages or more about all this, but thats why I put out this Volume . . . Many more to come, but suffice to say that “mainstream” will get you the opposite of what you need i.e. REAL man – or woman – fitness. Fitness as Nature intened us to be. And these irreverent, pioneering, bucaneering tips have come from yours truly truly spending time in the trenches and imparting these gems of wisdom to you Sometimes, I look at the price of the book and think of increasing it, because some things are just priceless my friend. EACH of these tips by itself is worth a “goldmine of information” as it were. What you DO with it is up to you, but any serious trainee should have these for reading by his bedside – on the toilet (if thats your thang, hehe) – or for motivation (either life or fitness wise) – or to prepare for any sort of SERIOUS TRAINING! And these tips by themselves will get YOU in the best damned shape of your life, bro. Trust me on this (or sis, hehe). Enough for now. Let’s dive into it. But, first, a bit of a story from a “boobybuilder-cum-convert” I met years ago … Former BOOBY-builder tells all … Former “roid crazed” bodybuilder tells it like it is Those that know me well know that swimming is one of my favorite pastimes. In addition to it being a a great, great overall body exercise, swimming is also fun and enjoyable to do. It’s good for overweight people, it’s good for toddlers, and it’s great for the average person looking to get in some exercise. Cannot say enough good things about swimming. Anyway, swimming reminds me of something I thought I should share with you. There was a guy at the pool I swim at who used to participate in bodybuilding competitions. And when I say bodybuilding, I mean it – he looked every bit the part. Gigantic muscles popping out in all directions, an unnaturally slim waist, the flared lats; you get the photo. Now to his credit, this guy was learning how to swim – one of the best things you can do – and being that I used to hare up and down the pool at a pretty decent clip completing my laps, he’d come up to me at times and ask me for pointers on how to improve his technique, breathing style, etc etc. Now, while I’m certainly no expert on swimming, I helped him out the best I could with what I knew and some tips that I thought would improve his swimming. And while doing so, we started to chat, and got around to talking about exercise routines. And this brought up the topic of bodybuilding, and what this guy did full time for many years before taking to the pool. And it aint pretty – think 8 hours of pumping iron (not kidding you – 8 full hours pumping iron daily), making sure he got enough food in him, and of course, the anabolic steriods which is pretty much a must – do if your anyone of any repute in the bodybuilding field. “Well, at least you must have built up a considerable amount of strength with all that weight training”, I told him. And his response was this: “Yes, to a degree – but whats the point? My muscles hurt when I swim with any regularity, and I’ve already had TWO heart attacks. My wife fears the third one could be the last, so I quit professional bodybuilding at that point”. So, how old was this guy? The answer may shock you – he was 30. That’s right – THIRTY years of age, bloated muscles and all – and TWO heart attacks already! Now, I bring this up not to point fingers at this guy and give him a lecture on how bodybuilding is BAD for him – he’s done that better than I ever could by changing what he does, and hats off to him for that. But, his routine is about par for most modern day bodybuilder, and that sort of routine is best AVOIDED. The trouble is though, that all those fake muscles get folks thinking that they’re the “real deal” – and they start to ape the bodybuilder routines – and thats when the problems start. Think about it – doing all sorts of exercises for 8 hours a day daily – and eating next to nothing except protein shakes and eggs – and bloated muscles that don’t work worth a darn in the real world. Is it worth it? I can just begin to imagine how that guy would do if I asked him to rep out 5 pull-ups in good form. And as for HANDSTAND pushups – forget it – the dude would likely collapse in a heap if I even ASKED him to get into a handstand, much less execute, or TRY to execute a handstand pushup. (Those are two of the best damned exercises you can do, by the way!) Two heart attacks before the age of 30 and virtually no stamina/endurance left. Is it worth it? Only you can answer those questions for yourself, but I know what my answer is. And lest you think this type of thing is limited to bodybuilders, think again.”Professional” wrestling (not the real deal) is rife with cases of folks dying of drug overdoses, and movie stars routinely use drugs to maintain their “perfect” bodies. The question is though, what are YOU going to do, my friend? I mentioned pretty much everything the dude said to me in real life in the convo presented above – well, almost everything. While I did mention him telling me about his “ticker” issues at the “ripe old age” of 30, what I haven’t mentioned to you is the other comments he made to me – “man to man” as it were, and in the spirit of keeping this page “PG” rated, all I’m gonna say is that the ticker wasn’t the only thing not working correctly. He was having “pecker” issues as well, and as anyone that’s used steroids for a while will readily attest, while they may make your muscles bloat up unnaturally, you’ll experience “substantial size loss” in your “man bits” if you get my drift – – not to mention experience other “associated” problems. So much for the hours he spent in the gym building that functionally useless massive upper body … Show muscles, yes – beach boy muscles – yes – but what price the ticker, my friend? What price the pe … ah, but I think you get my drift? Question begets then – – what course of action are YOU going to choose now? Are you going to continue down the “bozo shozo” road of doing what the gym-shym tells you, and continue to preen and pump and pose and tone and bone and fone for hours with the bros (ugh that combo) and get NOWHERE (except whats mentioned above), or are you going to BUCKLE your ASS down, and get down to SERIOUS training, done the way yours truly does and advocates? Are you going to choose REAL HEALTH AND FITNESS over “fad shad” at the gym? Are you going to RECOGNIZE the fact that some of the fittest and baddest men on the planet do NOT lift weights or go to the GYM? Are you going to UNDERSTAND That your own bodyweight is all you need to give you a HECK of a workout, and them some? All these questions, and then some are up to YOU my friend. Only YOU can choose the path of “real man” and FITNESS – – and lifelong health as opposed to the B.S. If I were your brother though, I know what choice I’d tell you to make. On that note, lets just get straight into the BENEFITS now, and we’ll then get to the TIPS. Once again, thanks for your purchase. You’ve made the right choice! BENEFITS you can expect from understanding and then religiously FOLLOWING these tips! First off, and most importantly, it’s not enough to simply READ. You have to DO the thing, bro, to truly understand. Just like you have to walk a mile in a man’s shoes to truly understand what is going on with HIM or HER, the same thing with fitness. You cannot, I repeat, cannot be a lardassian “armchair workout fanatic”, and you’ll learn why and more on this in THIS manual. What REAL fitness entails as opposed to the preening and pumping in the gym shym. You’ll even learn about a LIST of exercises every real man (or woman) should be able to do, but precious few CAN. The two very best – and very WORST exercises you can do for your upper body that will build a ton of muscle at record speeds, and BURN lard off at record speeds as well (quicker than you can put it ON). How to literally EAT more – and WEIGH LESS – with PROOF! How to SKYROCKET past previous bests on pull-ups! How to get a core as HARD as a wall – quite literally – a core so ROCK SOLID that your elbows will BOUNCE off it. (yours, or others). And no, it ain’t just buying Corrugated Core, although those exercises in that course will sure as heck help! How to build that SEXY chest that women love, and the V taper to your back we’ve covered SO often here. And believe me, that alone might just be worth it for YOU! Why you can TAKE a horse to water – but cannot make it drink – and more to the point, why it’s pointless to try. Replace horse with idiots that think “bodyweight exercises don’t build strength” and/or “You need the Jim Shim” for STRENGTH training or the bench press/lat pulldown devotees, or the ape like nutters yanking each other’s cords and yakking away nineteen to the dozen while supposedly “working out”at the Jim Shim … Why you WILL get trolled initially when you do something that goes against the grain – and say it like it is – and why you should WELCOME that. And how to make these bozos literally cry TEARS of frustration while you laugh all the way to the bank. I know I said this was a fitness book, but given the Bozo Schofield saga, I thought I’d put this in here, and giv eyou a few marketing tips too. But hey, these tips are fitness related too! You’ll see what I mean. Why the FACT is that most people claiming to be “big and can’t do pull-ups” are actually FAT. Big time. Yes. I said it. Fat, with humungous gigantic bellies that grow by the day while they yank away at the gym shim pretending to build REAL strength while secretly admiring those that can pump out pull-ups for reps, smooth and easy as BUTTER … (And let’s face it, it’s TRUE). (And I’ve got PROOF). (Plenty of it) Why said bozos above would be better served by doing the thing as opposed to being “jealous shellus” and making EXCUSES, and hiding behind NON existent “facts” (that again, don’t exist). Really, dude. You want to do pull-ups. Just freaking admit it. Now lose the weight … and GET CRANKING! And if you know anyone like that above, YES, they CAN do bodyweight exercises – even tougher ones. Size is NOT a problem. FAT is! But of course, you gotta get past the “bozo defenses” and crack their minds open FIRST, and these tips will do just that. Why QUICK and dirty workouts that BLOW your heart’s valves wide open are far, far better than “marathon long workouts”. What you can learn from an older lady in India – a vegetable seller for one – in terms of FITNESS And on that note – what Chinese ladies and massueses can teach YOU about FITNESS … Believe me, those above two tips ALONE are so unusual and WORTH it that you’ll have gotten value – several times over and above what you’ve PAID for this course. Why Madam Jassy and her pink dumbbells ain’t the ticket to fitness I was taught as a kid … The single MOST important thing to learn when doing pull-ups or any exercise. Hint – no, it aint necessarily physical either! Well, my friend I could keep writing until 2022, and still not be done with the benefits. So I’ll sign off on those here – – and lets drive – DIVE – right INTO THE tips! (It “came out” as drive, and upon introspection for a nanosecond, I bet thats the better way). (The subconscious never ever lies! Yet something else you’ll learn about below) … Grab this now. Truly WELL worth it’s weight in GOLD! There has never EVER been a compilation of tips like this in the HISTORY of fitness. Yes, my friend. I truly am a PIONEER in certain regards and am NOT shy to blow a bugle about it from the ROOFTOPS either. Get this NOW, my friend – and you TOO will be called a pioneer – a TRAIL BLAZER – and MORE! YES!