Funny Short Speeches

Book excerpt: This book is an hilarious collection of short funny speeches and monologues. They were written as manual speeches for Toastmasters, to advance through my speech manuals. They were written over a 7-year period and during this period, I reached the level of ATM Silver. Toastmasters provided the perfect training course for me and I used my newly acquired skills and confidence to launch into an international career as a public speaker and writer. From 2002 to 2004, I travelled to 19 countries on 5 continents, fulfilling speaking engagements and a desire for world travel that I had dreamt of for decades. I realised very early in my Toastmasters club training that the best way to capture and retain an audience's attention was with the use of comedy. So, making my audience laugh became my main focus. These are my most cherished speeches. Making my audience laugh is still the greatest 'high' that I get from speaking.When you say something funny, and your audience laughs, you know that it's a genuine response and you've got through to them!You will find that I use many of my funny speeches to deliver some very important messages to my audience.It's incredibly hard to get an audience's attention when talking about a serious subject, but by using comedy, you capture their attention and they listen more carefully to make sure they don't miss out on your next joke or funny line. That's the perfect time to hit them with something important, something profound. You can then rest assured that your message has been heard loud and clear. Then it's back to more comedy. You can't afford to let them doze off for a minute!Public speaking is quite an art, and I have Toastmasters to thank for teaching me the skills, but more importantly, giving me the confidence to speak in front of an audience. These speeches and monologues are for your entertainment, and if your goal is to build confidence as a public speaker, they are also a testament to the value of Toastmasters as an excellent way to go. Finally, if you have a speech to give, please feel free to use these speeches as a guide.HISTORYAfter a successful career as a sales agent and sales manager, I yearned to become a professional public, so I joined Toastmasters.Two weeks later, I gave my first speech. It was okay, but I needed to learn so much more. Joining Toastmasters was everything I hoped it would be, and more.Over the next 7 years I gave 30 manual speeches and developed my speaking skills to the professional level I sought from the very start.That training gave me the confidence to embark on several international speaking tours that took me to 19 countries, on 5 continents.I also turned one of my speeches, Pericles - Athens' Most Glorious Ruler, into a one-man play, The Glory of Athens, which I performed in 10 countries, including theatre performances in Amsterdam, London and Hollywood.These tours took place from 2002-2004 and I have written about those travel experiences in several books.Most of my enjoyment, however, has come through delivering funny speeches. The spontaneous laughter from the audience is one of the most satisfying experiences I have ever had.Some of these speeches are included in this book, Funny Short Speeches - Examples of 5-10-minute speeches.I hope you enjoy my speeches just as much as my audiences from all over the world.REVIEWSMy! You are a very impressive man with a very impressive vision ... Reading your speeches turned out to be so hilarious I couldn't help myself cracking up every now and then to the surprise (delight or annoyance) of the people around here... I like most of your latest works (speeches), Pericles, The Wandering Knight, Why The Boss Gets Paid More, and the factual, superb and inspirational LIVE FOR THE JOURNEY, (NOT THE DESTINATION)... Dorie (Guam)You certainly have an interesting twist on the story of the three little pigs. I like it ! There are always two sides to any story. Scarlet (USA)