God Made Me Do It

Book excerpt: Does God, in His infinite wisdom, convince people to get rid of their car insurance? Does He encourage cannibalism? Does the God of more than six billion people actually have time to root for the Minnesota Vikings? According to some, yes. How do they know? God told them. Luckily, God also told Marc Hartzman to write this book, a collection of the most shocking, absurd, and hilarious things people have ever claimed God asked them to do, and to present them for your pure reading enjoyment. Including: The man that God told to perform surgery on himself God's generous offer to miraculously fill his believer's gas tank The fateful day God (assumedly feeling nostalgic for his teen years) asked a man to TP a police station The woman God instructed to direct traffic—topless And, sadly, many more