I'm Not a Mind Reader

Book excerpt: Chocolates are fine and flowers rarely disappoint, but for relationships on the rocks, nothing says, 'I love you' like the promise of renewal. In I'm Not a Mind Reader, Babits reveals that too often, even the smartest people have difficulty communicating, and we've learned over the years that love isn't enough to repair the normal wear and tear that occurs in relationships. So, what can couples do when even love itself fails? Babits lays out a totally unique blueprint for renewal in The I'm Not a Mind Reader, explaining that every message from one partner to another can be considered in terms of three separate dimensions: The surface level—this is the literal meaning of what partners say to one another The emotional subtext of the message—its emotional undertone The third dimension—evaluating the first two and comparing them with the goal of creating emotional safety within the dialogue Armed with this formula, whatever needs to be better understood, resolved, expanded or modified in the relationship can be addressed and communication brings coherence and connection. The person who practices three-dimensional communication lives in full and vibrant color compared with seeing everything in black and white. This new method is vivid and textured; it promotes the capacity to negotiate differences, to clarify misunderstandings, to heal confusions, and to reinvigorate passion and trust.