It's Either Her or Me

Book excerpt: THERE’S NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT—YOU’RE NOT LOSING A SON AND YOU DON’T HAVE TO BE GAINING A RIVAL. For a mother who’s accustomed to having been number one in her son’s life, the arrival of a girlfriend, fiancée, or wife can be a complicated, confusing, and emotionally challenging event. Likewise, coexisting harmoniously with the mother of her partner can be an overwhelming challenge for any woman. Sons, often caught in the middle, are sometimes understandably reluctant to take sides. In It’s Either Her or Me, relationship expert Ellie Slott Fisher examines the complex dynamics of these potentially fraught relationships and how they can be made rich in rewards for all parties. As a wife and the mother of a grown son, Fisher has been on both ends of the spectrum. She recounts her own experiences and those of the mothers, sons, girlfriends, fiancées, wives, and even sisters she interviewed. With the help of psychologist Dr. Beatrice Lazaroff and licensed professional counselor Esther Ganz, Fisher offers practical solutions to help women on both sides cope—and thrive—in this most sensitive of relationships. Discover how to • gauge when it’s time to voice an opinion—and when it’s best to bite your tongue • reach out to the woman in your son’s life without being overbearing • handle the partner or mother-in-law who’s truly impossible • show respect to your partner’s mother • ensure that your partner’s mother respects your boundaries • deal with jealous sisters and other difficult family members • and much more Also including welcome advice on what he can discuss with either woman, It’s Either Her or Me is an invaluable resource for women and the men they love.