Love and the Mystery of Betrayal

Book excerpt: What is it like to recover from betrayal of trust today in a culture that is blind to the trauma and impatient with grief? When her long-time partner suddenly left her shortly before their wedding, the author found nothing had prepared her for the depth and duration of the pain. Despite having lived through her husband's death years earlier, she was stunned by the intensity of the suffering and could not understand why this shock hit so hard. Her loss of faith in this one person precipitated an existential and spiritual crisis that called her very understanding of human nature into question, and she wanted to know why. As she wrested with what turned out to be a massive trauma, she began to keep careful notes of her inner life-hoping to capture the paradoxes of love, grief and longing mixed with bewilderment and post-traumatic stress. With fearlessness and bracing frankness, she succeeds. "Love and the Mystery of Betrayal" seamlessly blends research and reflection, love and heartbreak, rage and transformation, and the personal with the collective. The deep, engaging writing provides the type of solace only a kindred spirit who has been there can. This achingly moving chronicle and meditation on the mysteries of love and betrayal shows how faith and love can triumph even after the most life-shattering revelations and loss. "This story of heartbreak has a rare quality: it is absolutely honest." -Ginette Paris, PhD, "Heartbreak" ..".a powerful book that will serve many." -Tara Brach, PhD, "Radical Acceptance," "True Refuge" "Sandra Dennis does not sugar-coat the experience of abandonment and betrayal with easy tips on getting over it or with spiritual bypass sleight of hand.... A much needed contribution to our collective healing..." -Francis Weller, Founder of Wisdom Bridge, "Entering the Healing Ground" "What Sandra Dennis tells us about the transformative power of suffering is so important and so true. I hope many read this book; many surely are in need of it." -Fr. Richard Rohr, "Silent Compassion," "Breathing Underwater" ..".a rare and beautiful book...invaluable for anyone interested in harnessing the deepest human heartbreak as a crucible for spiritual awakening....a triumph of spirit." -Miranda Macpherson, "Boundless Love" ..".a powerful and thoughtful book right from the heart that will be a source of comfort and assistance to a lot of hurting people." -Lundy Bancroft, "Why Does He Do That?" ..".probes the subject of betrayal in an almost kinesthetic way, like a dance that is also superbly intelligent." -Charlie Fisher, PhD," Meditation in the Wild" and "Dismantling Discontent" "What a remarkable book Sandra Dennis has written! I celebrate her courage and discoveries, and welcome her home!" -Gangaji, "Hidden Treasure," "A Diamond in Your Pocket"