Phantom Son

Book excerpt: Dr. Sharon Estill Taylor has written a highly readable and illuminating account of her experience as a birthmother in the sixties. With a keen eye for detail and a wry sense of humor, she vividly recounts the ways the no-questions-asked cultural forces of the time swept her toward the surrender of her son. Though steamrolled by a process that gave her no say, Dr. Taylor persevered and found her voice as an early champion of sensitive search and reunion. -Jim Gritter, author of The Spirit of Open Adoption, Lifegivers, and Hospitious Adoption Praise for Phantom Son:: In Phantom Son, Dr. Sharon Estill Taylor tells her own story of being an unwed mother at age 18 in the early 1960s. It bridges a time when unwed women endured devastating discrimination and pressure to give up their parental rights to a time when searching for and finding these children was more accepted and facilitated by society. There are smaller sub-stories, including one about the author's loss of her father who was killed in World War II, and how that event affected her family over the decades; and another about her experience of sex and identity-formation in the 1960s. These sub-stories are fascinating and contribute to the gripping nature of this book. Beyond all, this is a story of grief, courage, and redemption. The lives of most people are filled with issues and complexities that only can be addressed by storytelling. Taylor does that with grace and eloquence. -John Harvey, Editor of the Journal of Loss and Trauma, and Professor of Psychology, Emeritus, University of Iowa Dr. Sharon Estill Taylor's account of her unintended pregnancy and her subsequent traumatic adoption process in the 1960s is an important reminder of how far we have come as a society in terms of the acceptance of out of wedlock births. Instead of the rampant shaming and secrecy surrounding these pregnancies, these commonplace events are now tolerated and even celebrated. This is how it should be as the impact of societal and religious silencing and shame heaped upon these mothers in the 1960s was nothing short of traumatic abuse, as Dr. Taylor tells us in her book. This is an important read for anyone, but I particularly recommend this book for those whose lives have been affected by the disenfranchised grief of coerced adoption. -Deborah Stokes, PhD, Director of The Better Brain Center, Washington, DC In Phantom Son, Dr. Sharon Estill Taylor shares her journey as an unwed mother in the 1960s and her courageous search for the son she had to give up. Her grief and loss give way to the formation of wonderful familial relationships. In the tradition of the Irish story teller, Dr. Taylor gives her readers a powerful gift that will resonate in their own lives. -Fr. Kilian J. Malvey, O.S.B., Professor of Theology, Saint Martin's University As a reunited adoptee, I never tire of reading about reunions. In Dr. Sharon Estill Taylor's Phantom Son, the reader experiences the author's journey from love-struck teenager to expectant mother to powerful advocate for other birthmothers. Dr. Taylor vividly describes how she was forced to physically separate from her son and how she kept the emotional connection alive in her soul. Dr. Taylor's writing is raw, open, and honest; important qualities when dealing with such emotional subject matter. -Christine Murphy, author of Taking Down the Wall: