Self-traps

Book excerpt: Not a self-help book, Self-Traps is a fascinating, multidimensional exploration of how self-esteem conflicts develop and are played out in all our relationships, and how the authentic achievement of self-esteem is often undermined by American social norms that tell us how to approach our love relationships and work. Swann shows how these societal influences may compound the inner conflicts that people with low self-esteem have, making their thought patterns and behavior that much more difficult to change. Yet raising self-esteem, he insists, is an achievable goal. Swann proposes solutions that take into account the multifaceted nature of self-esteem and allow us to perform a delicate balancing act, changing our notions of who we are without irreparably losing our fundamental sense of identity.