Ship for Brains

Book excerpt: Returning with his award-winning wit and delightfully candid narrative voice, Brian brings us the first and only expose of art auctioneering on the mighty liners, where the tenet of 'what happens at sea, stays at sea' has always been observed-until now. Ship for Brains takes on cruise ship art auctioneers, a society brimming with odd personalities drawn to the stress and isolation that invariably lead to alcohol and a Hell-may-care attitude. According to Bruns, "They willingly give up home and family in favor of high-paced, crushing sales goals demanded while port-hopping from nation to nation; art auctioneers are undermined by the lash of tyrannical ship officers, unforgiving gallery managers, hyena-like trainers, and a skeptical public. The burn-out rate is phenomenal-but when it works, you are king of the world." Brian's true-life struggle turns both harrowing and hilarious when goaded by the lecherous but mighty auctioneer Bill Shatner, and he must navigate sexy dancers and their all-to-intimate cliques, the slapstick schemes of his mentors, and the seduction of success, all while staying true to his girl and himself. We are transported from the Caribbean to the Pacific and Costa Rica to Transylvania as our likable guide vividly describes his many misadventures, triumphs, flirtations, and, above all, his amusing and astute insights into human nature. Ship for Brains-this ain't no galley tour.