Staying Together

Book excerpt: Much human misery has its origin in poverty, neglect, abuse, and ignorance. But perhaps the most common human misery is that which occurs in an unsuccessful marital relationship. Countless men and women are competent, productive, caring, intelligent, happy, and successful - except with their partners. Despite the fact that many of the social problems affecting us have their origins in unhappy marriages, there is little tangible information on how to maintain a successful union. Dr. William Glasser, one of the world's noted psychiatrists and authors, began to think about this subject when his wife told him shortly before cancer claimed her life in 1992: "You won't do well by yourself; I hope you can find someone with whom you will be happy". She was right. After forty-six years of marriage, he wasn't happy by himself, but it was not easy to find someone else. As he began his quest for a new love, Glasser was forced to consider why some marriages succeed and others fail. Staying Together, his deeply personal guide to maintaining a fulfilling marriage, describes how he and his fiancee, Carleen Floyd, have built their relationship. Glasser advises readers on how to create loving and lasting marriages by applying control theory - his theory of how we function psychologically as each of us attempts to control our life - to relationships. The result is a wealth of new information about who would make a compatible partner and how to improve any relationship.