The Artist Man and the Mother Woman

Book excerpt: How my wee boy, as naive and pastey as he is, could get a grown woman tae go weak at the knees, screaming, as it appears you wis last night. When he's nae so much as accidently brushed up against a wifie afore, and there's nae internet or dirty magazines in the hoose tae speak o. And I ken, I've checked under his mattress. Nut, nae contact wi anither female in the world. Oh. 'Cept his mammy o course. 'Cept his mammy. Geoffrey Buncher is an art teacher. Until now his only meaningful relationship has been with his mother, Edie, who doesn't want her 'wee man growing up too fast'. But when one day he reads in the newspaper that he's working in amongst the top ten sexiest professions, he decides to advertise in the local papers for a wife. Straying outside of his comfortable existence where his mother continues to buy her middle-aged son's Ribena, Geoffrey enters a frightening world of adulthood and female companionship that he struggles to adjust to. Attraction manifests itself in warped and disturbing ways and leads to a terrifying conclusion. Written in Morna Pearson's trademark 'lurid, post-modern Doric' (Scotsman), and with hints of Joe Orton and Harold Pinter, The Artist Man and the Mother Woman is a wickedly funny, deceptively simple, surreal portrait of a spectacularly dysfunctional relationship. This world premiere was staged by the Traverse Theatre Company in the Traverse One space between 30 October and 17 November 2012, directed by Orla O'Loughlin.