The Last Fish Supper

Book excerpt: ***This book is also available in THE BARBERSHOP SEVEN - the collected Barney Thomson novels*** Barney Thomson is a restless soul in search of a quiet town in which to settle. He thinks he might just have found it in Millport on the Isle of Cumbrae and life can at last bring him some peace. Or, at least, it might have done, but for the dead body at the bottom of the stairs, the ghost tormented for all time to go to the bathroom, the evil Chinese businessman, the disturbing package in the freezer, the mysterious cathedral, Barney's deaf, mute, hunchbacked assistant, the ancient society protecting a 2,000-year-old secret, the Vatican spies, the intended murder, the curious collective of ninety-year-old men looking for Robbie Williams' haircuts, the promiscuous vicar named Judas, the rookie exorcist, the volatile cheese sandwich, and the very outside possibility of Armageddon. And, at the end it all, twelve men will meet around a table and the very future of humanity will be decided. Either that, or they will go home for a cup of tea and a plate of chips. THE LAST FISH SUPPER is book 5 in the Barney Thomson series. Praise for THE LONG MIDNIGHT OF BARNEY THOMSON (book 1) "This chilling black comedy unfolds at dizzying speed... an impressive debut novel." - Sunday Mirror "The plot, Russian literature fans, is a modern spin on Dostoyevsky's Crime and Punishment. The bloody ending, movie buffs, is pure Reservoir Dogs." - The Mirror "This is pitch-black comedy spun from the finest writing. Fantastic plot, unforgettable scenes and plenty of twisted belly laughs." - New Woman Praise for THE BARBER SURGEON'S HAIRSHIRT (book 2): "A mad, macabre romp with surreal characters and cutting black humour." - The Sunday Mirror "Gloriously over the top, very bloody and very, very funny." - Daily Telegraph "A novel which is both genuinely silly and a fun read." - The Scotsman "A flawless follow-up to an impressive debut, this is extremely well-written, highly amusing and completely unpredictable in its outrageous plot twists and turns." - The List "Lindsay's burlesque thrills offer no sex, no drugs, no desperation to be cool. Just straightforward adult story; fantastic plot, classic timing and gleeful delight in the grotesque. With more talent than Irvine Welsh could dream of, Lindsay has crafted a macabre masterpiece where content lives up to style." - What's On