The Mysterious Case of the Nefarious Seafarers

Book excerpt: To those so inclined, my long association with the great Sherlock Holmes, may appear at first blush, an incredible journey through life. Valiant knights on a quest to rid the world of evil doers, with the occasional, slaying of a dragon along the way. Truly, a romantic's ideal. After all, what child hasn't dreamt of curing the world's ills and ridding the populace of its criminal element? True, rooming with one of the most remarkable minds of our time, afforded me the privilege of chronicling many of our exciting adventures, but as many of my readers are well aware, Holmes was often churlish and disagreeable when there were no cases to challenge his keen mind. As Holmes would self-pityingly put it, it was during a particularly, cruel and spiteful lull in London's crime rate that I reluctantly, found myself returning to the flat at Baker Street, after completing my consultation at Royal Bethlam Hospital on St. George's Road. As a doctor of medicine, it is normally not my wont or habit to administer to the health and welfare of lunatics, but a colleague was in a quandary, regarding a particular patient and he sought my opinion as to the poor soul's physical, well being. With much trepidation, I allowed myself to be cajoled into paying a visit to Bedlam. So it was that I, upon returning to Baker Street in an already sour mood; caused no doubt, by the deplorable conditions of Bethlam Hospital, that I had little patience with Holmes's, petulant and mean spirited, disposition. Entering the flat, I had no other desire than to scrub the foul stench and oppressive mood off me, and I hung my coat on the back of the door. Holmes lay sprawled on the sofa, browsing the papers, and from the mess of discarded pages scattered about the room, it was obvious that he did not find anything to his liking. Turning his head in my direction, his angry expression, confirmed my fears. "Ah Watson," he remarked sarcastically, swinging upright and tossing the remaining papers in the air. "I trust you had an enjoyable outing?" "Not now, Holmes! I'm in no mood to..." Ignoring my words entirely, Holmes continued to rant on. "Has the Queen offered a proclamation, placing all of London's criminals on holiday? There's not one hint of scandal or conspiracy brewing in any of these rags!" In a fit of tantrum, he punted the newspapers in the air, scattering the fluttering, sheets about the room. "My God Holmes, must you?" Again, ignoring my pleadings, he went on...