The Pain Hidden behind My Smile

Book excerpt: Karla was a misguided youth who witnessed everything that she was supposed to be protected from. Growing up without a father in her life and a mother who didn't know how to show her love forced her to go out into the world unprepared for the realities of it. She became a mother at the age of eighteen by a man who was six years older with children. Although she never felt love at home, she still opened herself up to the possibilities of being loved and loving someone in return. That search led her to a young man whom she eventually spent eight years of her life with and shared two more children together. During their time together she suffered from mental, physical, and emotional abuse, causing her to finally get up enough courage to leave him. Single again, Karla started doing things that she never had the opportunity to do while with such a controlling man. She started to drink and go out more, which eventually caused her to make decisions that affected and disrupted her household. She met a few men and settled down with one that caught her eye. While trying to pick up the pieces of her life, she started doing a little better and was looking forward to her future without the hurt and pain that she suffered through for years. Trying to better her relationship with her siblings, she invited them to her apartment so that they could spend time together, but nothing would prepare herself for what lay ahead. One night with her family had turned her whole world upside down and left her fighting for her freedom. With everything that she had already gone through, nobody would have ever expected for her to end up in jail, not even her. Leaving behind her children, Karla had to adjust to her new life behind bars. There was no turning back now, she had to fight harder than she had ever fought before. During that fight, she was sexually assaulted by a male deputy that worked at the courthouse. Leaving her with distrust for the same people put in place to protect her, she started to give up and accept things as they were, but God didn't want that for her, so He gave her the vision and sign that she had been waiting for. After being away for almost two years, Karla was released back out into the same cold, cruel world that she was abruptly taken from and had to start rebuilding what was torn down. She also needed to repair the broken relationship with her children, but none of that would come easy for her. Battling depression, being homeless, and running into people that had taken advantage of her instead of helping only made her stronger, and after two years of parole Karla packed the few things she had along with her children and headed for a new life in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, leaving behind everything that was meant to break her and starting a new life for herself and children.