The Bitchy Waiter

Book excerpt: Hilarious tales from the trenches of food service from the popular blog—perfect for fans of David Sedaris, Anthony Bourdain, Erma Bombeck and Mo Rocca. For all those disenchanted current and former food service employees, Darron Cardosa (a.k.a. The Bitchy Waiter) has your back. Based on his popular blog, this riotous book is full of waitstaff horror stories—plus heartwarming tales—from three decades in the industry. Cardosa knows you want your beer cold (“You want a cold beer? Thank you for clarifying so I didn’t bring you the one that just came out of the oven”). And while he may hate children (“I know the kid at Table Eight is trouble the moment he rolls into the restaurant in his fancy stroller”), he will at least consider owning up to his mistakes: “Do I take the steak from the floor, citing the “three-second rule,” and put it in the to-go box and carry it back to the woman?” From crazy customers to out-of-control egos, these acerbic tales offer a hilarious glimpse into what really goes on in that fancy restaurant—and inside the mind of a server. Praise for The Bitchy Waiter “Cardosa does for wait staff what Anthony Bourdain did for kitchens: he exposes the ugly side of food service from the perspective of those working on the front lines. And he puts the potential restaurant customer on notice that someone is watching and recording their bad behavior.” —Shelf Awareness