That's Not What I Said

Book excerpt: Dr. Katrina Wood on... TRIGGER WORDS: "The deterioration of relationship communication often begins with two simple words : 'why' and 'you'. A listener's historical pain and shame trigger immediate anger as a defense" VULNERABILITY: "Being vulnerable is risky. It is also courageous. Unveiling your true self provides a means of being deeply connected." GHOSTS: "Make a conscious and sustained effort to leave behind styles of communication from childhood. They limit your ability to share what you truly feel and think in the present." ABUSE: "Most people have come to expect verbal and emotional abuse and therefore tolerate it. Such abuse is hurtful, and leads to disconnection and pain in isolation." THE SEXES: "Understanding some fundamental differences between men and women goes a long way towards improving communication and behavior in relationships." RELATIONSHIPS: "Each person in a relationship has a responsibility to work toward identifying and communicating thoughts and feelings in the moment."