Fasten Your Seat Belts and Eat Your Fucking Nuts

Book excerpt: In his debut book, 'Fasten Your Seat Belts And Eat Your F*cking Nuts', Joe Thomas - aka Flight Attendant Joe - takes you on an inappropriate storytelling journey about what really happens while you sit comfortably (unless you are in a middle seat, in that case - he's sorry) onboard a climate controlled airplane while sucking down cups of soda, snacking on unsalted peanuts, and playing dumb when you get caught smoking in the lavatory. Have you ever wondered what happens behind the scenes at 38,000 feet? Does the thought of banging a flight attendant intrigue you? What about a pilot? Do you regularly attempt at eavesdropping on flight attendant conversations while waiting to use the lavatory on a red-eye flight? If so, then this book was written for you. Nobody said traveling was easy and Joe Thomas has the stories to prove it. 'Fasten Your Seat Belts And Eat Your Fucking Nuts' will make you hungry for more than just another bag of pretzels. Each page drips with gossip, drama, and his own personal confrontations with passengers and coworkers that will leave you gasping for air one minute, and then busting out laughing the next. Joe's honest, heartwarming, - dick-slapping-in-your-face-comedy - will have you turning pages quicker than a hooker turns tricks.