If You Didn't Bring Jerky, What Did I Just Eat?

Book excerpt: A hilarious collection of essays dedicated to life in the great outdoors from Field & Stream’s acclaimed Sportsman’s Life columnist. For nearly a decade, Bill Heavey, an outdoorsman marooned in suburbia, has written the Sportsman’s Life column on the back page of Field & Stream, where he does for hunting and fishing what David Feherty does for golf and Lewis Grizzard did for the South. If You Didn’t Bring Jerky, What Did I Just Eat? is the first collection of Heavey’s sidesplitting observations on life as a hardcore (but often hapless) outdoorsman. Whether he’s hunting cougars in the desert, scheming to make his five-year-old daughter love fishing, or chronicling his father’s life through a succession of canine companions, Heavey brings his trademark wit to a wide-range of outdoor enthusiasms, running the gamut from elite expeditions to ordinary occupations. In turns hysterical and poignant, entertaining and educational, this is an irresistible addition to the collection of any avid outdoorsman—or any suburbanite intrigued by the call of the wild.