Lessons Learned on Grief

Book excerpt: This is a memoir of my personal and professional experiences with grief. The story begins with my wife becoming sick with cancer at age 27. Her sickness and death was devastating and transformed my world. The first several chapters are about my personal grief journey. I was a middle school counselor when she died, and in dealing with her loss I embarked on a new career as a bereavement counselor. At first I was just a volunteer facilitating support groups for widowed men for the American Red Cross in a program called "First Step". I eventually did a my doctoral study on this program. When this program ended, I was invited to begin a bereavement program for St. Brigid parish in Westbury, NY. I facilitated support groups there for over three decades. Eventually, I started another bereavement program for St. Bernard's parish in Levittown, which features specialty groups for bereaved parents and survivors of suicide. Most of the book is about lessons I have learned from my clients about loss. In addition to support groups, I have seen clients privately for many years. My lessons on grief also include what I have learned from people who I trained to become support group facilitators, from students in my graduate course at Hofstra University, and from my work for the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention. The book is has a broad perspective; it speaks about many different losses, i.e. death of a spouse, child, sibling, parents and complicated grief. It is unique in that most books on the topic are either personal accounts from well-known people, i.e. Option B by Sheryl Sandberg or professional works by experts in the field, i.e. Living Beyond Loss by Monica McGoldrick. This both combines both perspectives in an easy to follow writing style. It is written for grieving individuals and their caregivers. Since it is a memoir, I am the main character but I also speak about the many individuals who have influenced me in my work. People who have suffered unimaginable losses, and yet somehow managed to survive and lead meaningful lives. They have inspired me to write this book so others can benefit from their grief journey.