Teenagers Learn What They Live

Book excerpt: Parenting by example. Using the simple, powerful message that turned Children Learn What They Live into an international bestseller with over 1.5 million copies in print, Drs. Dorothy Law Nolte and Rachel Harris bring their unique perspective to families with adolescents. Structured, like the first book, around an inspirational poem, Teenagers Learn What They Live addresses the turbulent teenage years, when a stew of hormones, pressures, and temptations makes for such extreme challenges for parents and children. Teenagers addresses popularity and peer pressure ("If teenagers live with rejection, they learn to feel lost"); the responsibilities of maturity ("If teenagers live with too many rules, they learn how to get around them./ If teenagers live with too few rules, they learn to ignore the needs of others"); body image and the allure of cigarettes, drugs, and alcohol ("If teenagers live with healthy habits, they learn to be kind to their bodies"). Central to the book are ways for parents to communicate with their teenage children-including how to deal with being "tuned out" and when to start the conversation again-and how to strike the right balance between holding on and accepting a teen's growing independence. Hundreds of examples of parent-child interactions cover everything from the all-night graduation party to problems of sexual identity, providing great guidance as well as effective conversation starters.