The Case Against Marriage

Book excerpt: The Case Against MarriageWhat You're Really Getting. What You've Got To LoseNot just a critique of marriage but one of the best books EVER on romantic relationships and how they really work. What do people want from love? How do they think marriage will help them, and what does it really give them?Marriage is all about love, right? Actually, it's more about money. Behind the romantic language, marriage is primarily a financial agreement merging the assets and liabilities of two individuals into a single corporate entity. After your wedding, the money you earn and debts you incur are no longer legally yours; they belong to the marital "community"-a common pot that both of you contribute to and draw from. It's a lot like Communism: an idealistic sharing of resources and risks supposedly for the common good.What could go wrong with this plan? Pretty much the same things that brought down political Communism in the late 20th Century: It slows growth, suppresses initiative, dilutes responsibility and mires decisions in bureaucracy. Healthy relationships need clear boundaries, and marriage erases too many of them at once.Marriage was designed for medieval times. Back then, life was hard and short; most marriages were arranged, and a woman was essentially the property of her husband. Marriage was a sort of licensing system for sex and childbirth. Once the relationship was officially approved and the religious ceremony concluded, the couple's overriding goal was to produce as many children as possible, knowing that many would die.Times have changed. Birth control, longer life spans, sexual freedom and women's rights have rewritten the rules of matrimony. Under the laws of most Western countries, marriage is no longer a sex license or child-rearing contract, only a contract to merge financial resources. "It's only money," couples may say, but Glenn Campbell argues that love and money are separate issues that should be kept that way.In modern Western society, unmarried people can legally have sex, live together, raise children, buy property together and do nearly everything else associated with a committed relationship, so why do they need to marry at all? What are you really getting when you walk down the aisle? Is marriage merely a public announcement to make your relationship "official," or does it fundamentally change the relationship?With simple, powerful and accessible arguments, The Case Against Marriage explains why, if you truly love someone, marriage may not be the wisest way to show it.