The Science of Self Talk

Book excerpt: Talking to ourselves - and learning to listen We all speak to ourselves on a daily basis. Whether it's out loud or an internal (or infernal) commentary, we all practice self-talk and, how we speak to ourselves can have a significant effect on our emotions and subsequent actions. Some people's self-talk is mostly about the future while, for others, it's an internal dialogue about the past. Some self-talk is positive and upbeat, while other self-talk is harsh, critical or defeatist. Self-talk can focus on other people but, more often than not, it is about ourselves - and is often negative. If you listen carefully, you'll notice that your inner conversation reflects thoughts and emotions. Self-talk isn't random. It exhibits patterns that repeat themselves. And everyone has their own characteristic self-talk that is uniquely theirs. In The Science Of Self-Talk mindfulness expert, Ian Tuhovsky, explains how we can re-write the script when it comes to our internal communication. Through a series of simple exercises for use in daily life, you can understand your own self-talk in order to change the conversation. Learn how you can listen to and understand your internal dialogue in order to change it. Many of us practice negative self-talk by default - how many times have you called yourself an idiot or chastised yourself for not being good enough? Negative self-talk is a harmful habit which can lead to anxiety, depression and helplessness and, yet, this is something that most of us do on a regular basis. For many people, this is learned behaviour whereby caution against boasting leads to self-criticism or self deprecation. For others, this is a natural reflection of the self and one that can slowly corrode self esteem. This unique book covers: ●Constructive self-talk and dysfunctional self-talk - and knowing the difference.●The impact of negative self-talk●Learned helplessness●Positive self-talk - challenge or threat?●The Pareto Principle which says that, for many events, roughly 80% of the effects come from 20% of the causes.●Creating the right circumstances for motivation●Getting to know yourself●Loving yourself - emotional intelligence●Turning down the volume on your self-talkIn the past, people who engaged in negative self-talk or self-criticism were often labelled 'perfectionists', insinuating that it's actually a positive thing but it's so much more damaging than that. Learning to identify our negative self-talk behaviour is the first step toward freeing us from its grip. With the right tools, we can change our internal dialogue, opening ourselves up to new opportunities, increased self-esteem and confidence. More than just a self-help manual, The Science of Self-Talk is a Positive Psychology Coaching Series which explains the roots of self-talk, or, intrapersonal communication. The book explains that these are the thoughts that we 'hear' with the auditory part of our brain and which add a kind of commentary to our daily life. Self talk is a little like turning on the director's commentary on a movie. You can simply watch the movie or you can add in commentary about what's happening in it - this is, in a nutshell, what most of us do in our daily lives. The Science Of Self Talk can help you to re-write the script of your movie and improve the way that you - and others - see yourself.