What Cloud Is My Brother In?

Book excerpt: Death is often perceived as an end point. Yet any family who has lost a child, either at birth or at some point in the child’s journey towards adulthood, will acknowledge it is a beginning. The beginning of a life-long grief journey, not just for the parents, but for other family members as well. While tears often come easily, words and actions, many times do not. How does one explain the death of a newborn, or the death of a child in elementary school or even high school, to their brothers and/or sisters? This story invites the grieving child/children, and the adults who love them, through a two-day grief camp experience for children. Three turtles meet at camp. They have each lost a brother. Snappy’s teenage brother Scooter died. Speedy’s newborn brother Bowser died. And Shelly’s young brother Scotty died too. Through the experience of numerous shared camp activities and discussions, the turtles become friends. They learn in the process, that while remembering may make them sad, it can help them to laugh and be happy, too. Speedy learned that even though there wasn’t time to create memories with his newborn brother, he can use his heart and his mind to imagine what life might be like, if his brother had lived. As camp comes to an end, the three friends realize they will always carry their brothers with them, in their heart and in their mind. This book includes many recommendations for techniques to honor and remember their brother. These activities allow the adult(s) and child/children to feel their grief through sharing openly about various grief topics, looking back at memories, and creating tangible remembrances. In time, through the sacred sharing of grief, they will begin to heal together.