Who Am I Now That I Am Alone? A Journey Back after Divorce or Death

Book excerpt: The "Who Am I Now That I Am Alone?" program began after my divorce. I gathered others who had experienced divorce into a group to explore our situation and how we could move forward with our lives. This group became one of the first in the country to help people going through divorce, remember in the 70's there still was not a great deal of acceptance of divorce in the culture. Hundreds of people have experienced the program that was developed after the first group and have found it very helpful. Over the years people have asked to read the book, but it was a group process guide and not a narrative. This book translates most of the program's material, which was designed for group interaction, into a format that will allow those who have experienced loss through divorce or death to benefit from the program on their own. Chapters 1-3 concern communication, including communicating and understanding feelings. We can only develop meaningful relationships through effective communication. These chapters also work on improving both interpersonal communication skills and your internal (self-talk) communication. Chapters 4-6 focus on understanding the importance of personal relationships in our lives, guiding readers to move out and expand and deepen supportive relationships. These are important skills for enriching the quality of anyone's life. Finally, Chapters 7-8 are designed to help readers develop a more positive personal identity. Many people come out of a divorce or the loss of a relationship feeling like a failure and somewhat worthless. These chapters reintroduce readers to their authentic selves. Your authentic self has so many good qualities which, when recognized and affirmed, will offset the feelings of guilt and failure. This change in perspective will bring the motivation to leave the past behind and build a new and exciting life. CONTENTS Introduction Chapter 1 Some Understandings about Divorce Chapter 2 How to Effectively Communicate Your Feelings Chapter 3 Understanding Interpersonal and Intrapersonal Communications Chapter 4 The Continuing Question: Who Am I Now That I Am Alone? Chapter 5 Expanding Friendships for Balance in Life Chapter 6 The Need for Community Chapter 7 Getting in Touch with Your Successes Chapter 8 Taking the New You into the World About the Author - James Ramsey's career has been divided into three very interesting segments. The first part of his career he served as a United Methodist Minister in Southern California, where he served three churches. The second part as a corporate trainer working for organizations like Northrop Aircraft, Fluor Corporation and the Orange County Transit District, and the last segment as a human resources director where he completed his full time work at Family Solutions an organization that worked with at risk children. Jim has also taught speech communications at several community colleges. Currently he is an independent human resource consultant for a nonprofit and also works part time in a local library. He has a Bachelor's degree in Social Science and Master of Divinity degree. During the 1970's while going through a divorce he gathered a group of people who were also going through divorce for weekly sessions and these sessions later were refined and became his divorce recovery program "Who Am I Now That I Am Alone?" This program has been delivered to hundreds of people over the years. Jim, with the assistance of other professionals, also conducted training programs to develop more leaders to deliver the program. Keywords: Divorce Recovery, Self Help, Divorce, Widowed, Divorce Program